Review: Bean Boozled by Jelly Bellies (4th Edition)
Jelly Bellies, famous for providing a flavor for every palate—from sweet to savory, from pear to popcorn, from tangerine to Tabasco—broke new ground some years ago with Bean Boozled, a line of jelly beans that mixes innocuous flavors like peach and lime with atrocious abominations like barf and lawn clippings. To keep things interesting and make a twisted game out of it, each bad flavor looks identical to a good flavor. Flavors have been added over time, and some flavors like skunk have gone away. This review covers the 4th edition.
First things first, there are 20 flavors this time around, 10 good and 10 bad. Among the good, my favorite are buttered popcorn and pear. Now let's get on to the good, or rather, bad stuff.
- Spoiled Milk: One of the new flavors for the 4th edition is spoiled milk. This turned out to be the worst of the worst for me. It really and truly tastes like rancid dairy, and even after eating other things I could still detect a hint of it hours later.
- Dead Fish: The other new flavor, dead fish, doesn't taste dead so much as it just tastes like fish.
- Booger: Booger just tasted like hot peppers to me, not terrible but not good either. Then again, I never ate my boogers as a child, so I couldn't tell you what they taste like. Sure, I'd pick my nose, but I'd often put them back like a sporting fisherman. 'It was thiiiis big!' But I digress.
- Barf: Barf seems to have a little vinegar, as if to mimic stomach fluids.
- Stinky Socks: Stinky socks seems to have a little saltiness, to mimic sweat perhaps.
- Rotten Egg: Rotten egg has that sulfuric smell we all know from eggs, farts, and propane.
- Canned Dog Food: Canned dog food just tastes a little meaty.
- Moldy Cheese: Moldy cheese tastes a little like hot pepper cheese, only not good.
Finally, I'm brought to the two so-called bad flavors that I actually thought were okay.
- Lawn Clippings and Toothpaste: These two taste like fresh greens and mint respectively, so nothing gag-worthy there.
Unless you want to completely contaminate your palate for the day, I advise against actually eating every jelly bean. A small bite followed by expectoration was sufficient for me to get the full experience for each variety. By only biting off a piece, I was also able to save all the mint toothpaste ones for last. If you're more adventurous, you may want to go all in and see how much you can take, or give them to someone as a practical joke. Or you and others can play a game with the included spinner, taking a random lottery and seeing who can give the best poker face while getting one of the bad flavors. Any way you do it, it's a fun little escapade. If you want to experience the same set of flavors I did, . here it is