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Say What? Questions Vegans Might Think but Never Ask

I am a life coach, focusing on the areas of nutritional healing, mindfulness, and wholeness.

Sometimes, vegans are on the receiving end of ridiculous questions—let's turn the tables!

Sometimes, vegans are on the receiving end of ridiculous questions—let's turn the tables!

Vegans often receive unsolicited comments and questions, many of which border on the bizarre and ridiculous. As a vegan myself, I often wonder what the response would be if the tables were turned and we posed our own versions of these queries and comments to meat-eaters. Here is a light-hearted look at what it might sound like, and my thoughts regarding the original question.

Veganized Versions of Common Questions From Meat-Eaters

  • “Do you hate me because I eat vegetables?” (Most of us really don't hate you for eating meat. We just have our own reasons for refraining.)
  • “You aren’t vegan? Aren’t you hungry all the time?” (Believe it or not, we consume so much fiber that we aren't hungry.)
  • “If you hit a cucumber with your car, would you eat it?” (You aren't scooping up roadkill—are you?!)
  • “You know, if you don’t milk the almonds, they’ll explode!” (Do you realize that if the cows weren't impregnated all the time and milked, they would simply stop producing milk?)
  • “Would you be offended if I ordered a salad?” (Most vegans are well aware that they are in the minority, so we understand that if we are eating with you there is a good chance that you will be eating animal products. Just be patient while we question the waiter about entree ingredients and preparation, please.)
  • “It’s great that you are an omnivore, but I just couldn’t survive!” (Of course you would—it may take some adjustment, and you may not be happy about the new restrictions, but you would certainly survive!)
  • “Plants have to die some time!” (We understand that all things must pass. We just do not choose to be a part of the process)
  • “Omnivores are so extreme!” (We are just eating plant-based diets and stand a much lesser chance of having our chest sliced open and ribs pried apart to have major heart surgery. To me, open heart surgery seems extreme!)
  • “Where do you get your protein?” (There is a lot of protein to be found in green veggies, nuts, beans, lentils, quinoa . . .)
  • “Do you have difficulty using the restroom?” (It's true that vegans don't have constipation issues, but we don't discuss your issues—pun aside—so, please, let's not discuss mine.)
  • “Raising your child to be a meat-eater is child abuse.” (If parents are raising their children in a loving environment and nourishing their bodies as well as their souls, that is all that matters. All children, yours as well as ours, will eventually grow up and choose to eat whatever they wish to.)
  • “I knew a meat-eater once, and he was always sick.” (Plant-based diets will NOT make you ill. They simply don't—other things need to be evaluated for your friend. Have them contact me; maybe I can help.)
  • “If you don’t eat the plants, they will take over the world!” (The meat industry is big business. It will stop the excessive breeding if the demand isn't extreme. It is the law of supply and demand.)

Then, of course, there is always this one:

  • “If you were in a plane, and it crashed on a deserted island where you were the only survivor and the bodies of the other passengers washed out to sea, and there were only coconuts left on the island . . . Would you eat them?” (No, I would not eat my fellow passengers. You may choose to do otherwise. I read a book about the Donner party. I also know that, in my scenario, you would eat the coconuts. Good for you! See, you may survive on a plant-based diet!)

Genuine, Respectful Questions Are Welcome!

I actually don't mind it when someone poses a genuine question to me regarding my lifestyle. Dialogue is important. We must remember to meet in the middle, though, with tolerance and respect—and it doesn't hurt to have a sense of humor.